Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Feast of Pope Saint Boniface I
Good morning. Marital research shows that women bring up issues of conflict 80 % of the time. But no matter who starts it, how the discussion starts often will determine how things proceed. The devil is in the details. It occurred to me as I read the Gospel this morning, that the particulars of how couples argue makes all the difference, for it is true that the devil is in the details. And make no mistake about it there isn’t anything the devil enjoys more than a good argument.
There can be no questioning that a healthy discussion is necessary for a healthy and lasting marriage, but how things are discussed can make for all the difference. How one starts the discussion can make for all the difference in how smoothly things go. It is generally thought that a “soft startup” makes for a much smoother and more productive time of things. ‘Dear, I know you’re watching the ball game, but at the next commercial would you mind taking out the trash?’ This is likely to result in a much better response versus a “harsh start-up” which might go more like 'Why are you sitting there watching baseball while I do all the work?' One can readily see the difference and see the likely end results.
Couples should regularly look to the lives of the saints for guidance. We celebrate today the life of Saint Boniface I, as pope he was successful in negotiating various issues of his day. He along with numerous other saints offers us examples of how to prudently work through our differences free of ambivalence.
One very important step toward avoiding unnecessary marital discord is to avoid putting off dealing with issues when they arise. Not dealing with issues when they arise can lead to resentment. Another thing to remember is to remain focused on the issue at hand and avoid drudging-up old issues. Leave the past right there, in the past. Make it a practice to leave the past in the past. If something has been forgiven, it should wiped off the record and not be brought up again. How do you successfully work through things with your spouse? Let me know. I’d really like to hear from you. Make a great day!
Today we recall the good life, gifts, and work of Pope Saint Boniface I.
Posted by Donald Gatwood at 7:21 AM