Holy Family

Holy Family

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Feast of Saint Narcisa de Jesús Martillo Morán

Good morning. Are we attending to our needs only or attending to the needs of others as well? What are our priorities? Is our marriage our number one priority, if not it should be. 

 As a marriage counselor I have come to appreciate that the chief reason couples get to the point of considering divorce is that other things have become more of a priority than their marriage. As a marriage counselor I make every effort to advocate for the marriage, to try to direct the couple to regain the love, intimacy and trust they seem not to appreciate at the moment. This at times can be rather difficult, especially in a culture which places so much emphasis upon individuality and attending to one’s own needs. 

Unfortunately couples neglect to be attentive to their marriage. Over time they come to take one another for granted. Like a lot of things in our lives our marriage is just there, and we assume it will always be there. We fail to attend to it. Over time neglect along with a culture which offers little in the way of support makes its way into the marriage, and meanwhile other priorities and issues capture our time and attention and one day one or the other wakes-up and realizes they don’t know the person they are lying next to. Over time the combination of neglect and cultural messages which make divorce seem to be a reasonable solution take its toll. This idea that separation and divorce is a reasonable solution is pandemic. One need only look to the numbers. In 1968 there were 338 annulments granted in this country by the Church, and that number has risen to some 60,000 per year. It is suggested by some that “A false notion of marriage, even a divorce mentality, seems to have taken hold of many priest and lay canon lawyers who adjudicate annulment cases.” So what is the answer? It is found in today’s Gospel—“Stay awake!” 

Stay awake! That’s the message for today. Our saint for today, Saint Narcisa de Jesús Martillo Morán offers a wonderful example of establishing the right priorities for our lives. When she was quite young, her parents died and for 15 years she worked as a seamstress to raise her younger siblings. Today’s Gospel reading offers a fairly clear and direct message regarding our need to be attentive. We are called in today’s Gospel to be attentive to God’s ways, to make every effort to live good lives and to be attentive to our marriage. What do we do toward building up our marriage on a regular basis? Are we attentive to our spouse’s changing feelings and needs? Do we protect them and come to their rescue when others attack or attempt to take advantage? Is our spouse our first priority? How do we contribute to the growth of our marriage spiritually? Do we take time to share? Do we take time to praise our spouse? Are we attentive to our spouse’s emotional and physical needs? Are we thankful for our spouse’s presence in our lives? What can you do to be more attentive today? Let me know. I’d really like to hear from you. Make a great day! 

Today we recall the good life, gifts, and work of Saint Narcisa de Jesús Martillo Morán.