Holy Family

Holy Family

Friday, October 21, 2011

Feast of Saint Ursula

Good morning. Can we read the sign of the times? Well, it depends on what it is one is trying to read. When it comes to marriage, one can and the other usually can’t. When it comes to relationships and the state of things the man is usually the last to figure it out. In the Gospel today Jesus asks us if we are on a journey to where we need to be going or on our way to ruin. The devil is betting on the latter. In marriage, when we feel neglected or even rejected by our spouse, in response to the loneliness we feel we might be tempted to seek comfort elsewhere. This want for comfort can take us in various directions, including an affair. As I said men are generally the last to know that things are not going well, at least from the standpoint of the woman. What most couples fail to take into consideration is that men and women generally approach life differently. The problem that women typically run into in trying to awaken their spouse to the fact that things are not going well in the marriage is that they fail to realize that men do not view things in the same way. If you want to sway your man, you need to get inside his world. You need to approach him in a way that makes sense to him. Men don’t intend to be neglectful or annoying, we really do want to make our wives happy, it’s just that…well, it’s just that we’re men. First off, women make the mistake of thinking things can be corrected simply by talking it out. The problem with that is that men generally don’t have much use for talking, unless it involves things like politics, sports and so on, whereas women connect with each other through the use of conversation. Women, consider cuddling up with a bowl of popcorn and take-in the World Series with your man. Men, inviting your gal to go for a walk and intently listening and sharing with her is bound to really lift her day. In his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex John Gray suggests that men can come to appreciate a women’s need for conversation by considering how good it feels to win a sporting event or complete a project at work. Men can go fishing, not say anything to one another all day and have a great time. Men for the most part connect through activities, by doing. There are various other areas where men and women tend to differ from one another, and Michele Weiner-Davis in her book Getting Through to the Man You Love: The No-Nonsense, No-Nagging Guide for Women reminds us that even male rhesus monkeys insist on hogging the remote control. It is important to be sensitive to these differences, and to keep a sense of humor about us in dealing with these differences. We cannot accuse God of not having a sense of humor when it comes to how he created men and women differently, but it is precisely these differences, these complementarities which make it work. It just helps to appreciate these differences and use them to our advantage in mapping out our marital journey. Make a great day!

Today we recall the good life, gifts, and works of Saint Ursula.

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