Holy Family

Holy Family

Monday, September 26, 2011

Feast of Saints Cosmas and Damian

Good morning. I always find myself chuckling inside when I read this passage from today’s Gospel with the Apostles arguing amongst themselves over which of them was the greatest and then as a group taking umbrage with others sharing in the work of Jesus. I guess the reason I find such humor in this Gospel passage is that it relates so well to our own real life circumstances. How often we too concern ourselves with the need to be esteemed, to be in charge. So often I see this need to be in control amongst couples who come to my office for marriage counseling. It reminds me sometimes of the game we played as youth—king of the mountain. Each partner is so insistent on being the one in charge, of being in control. Sometimes this need to be in control can truly get out of hand and goes beyond acceptable boundaries. It sometimes can become abusive either emotionally or physically. When it does, it is important for the person being abused to know that taking action to end the abuse does not violate the marital promises. It is important to get help both for one self personally and for the marriage. Fortunately, for most couples it boils down to a matter of each partner getting caught up in their own self and losing track of the need to focus on the relationship. It is important for couples to remind themselves that it is about being a team. As they say, a team is only as strong as its weakest link. Being ‘right’ doesn’t necessarily put the team in a winning position; being a winning team requires a single sense of purpose, single-mindedness in what will work best for the relationship. For any team to be in the win column each player needs to work together with the others. This likewise applies in marriage. If being ‘right’ is more important than getting along and working together for the good of the team, then the team is headed for the lose column. Having our marriage in the win column requires teamwork and good coaching. If we are working together with a united purpose with Jesus as our Coach we cannot help but win. Who is calling the plays in your marriage? Make a great day!

Today we recall the good lives, gifts, and works of Saints Cosmas and Damian. Funny! It really isn't Kramer's feast day. I'm in good company as Bishop Coyne made the same mistake on his Tweet this morning. It should read COSMAS.

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